Cover Story: Little Feet, Big Shoes

At 6 years old, I had a pair of sassy clogs that I wore everyday. Make no mistake, these were no ordinary clogs. They had a thin, sleek, high-heel that made them absolutely fabulous. If you are asking, “who makes high-heels for kids?” No one to my knowledge, my shoes were made for a woman, not a girl. And they offered me more than just an opportunity to break my ankle; they offered me room to grow. A treasured gift from one of Nana’s infamous Sunday yard sale pilgrimages, I simply loved them. Next on my list? Corduroy dresses and jeans; my closet housed a Skittles-inspired collection. Less forgiving of growth than my supersized shoes, even variety couldn’t stop an inevitable ending of my favorite frocks. Eventually, my dresses grew too short, my jeans became flood-ready and before I knew it, they were out the door, replaced with the next size.

When we are young, growth is natural and expected. Whether it is your clothes, toys or the “gross factor” you associate with the opposite sex, youth is accepting of growth. Flip flopping opinions? New perspective? Higher pant legs? When young, no problem… So what happened? Adulthood? Age doesn’t change the fact that we are continuously growing, although the hints are likely more subtle. You may not be able to tell from a toe peaking through the hole in your right sneaker, but it is there. Our preferences, thoughts, ideas, values and goals are constantly shifting, morphing and changing. And sometimes while we are busy growing one way, the people around us are growing in a different direction or at a different pace. What can you do? While they say that “there is a friend for all seasons,” “they” forgot the “how to” on growth, change and letting go.

This month, your personal and professional coaching challenge is to take time to reflect on the relationships in your life. Is a makeover, reinvention or even replacement in order? Are your relationships helping you accomplish your goals? Do they help you stay true to your values, grow and flourish? Jim Rohn says that “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Assuming that’s true, do you like the “you” in the mirror? Among those who make your “average,” where do you rank? Are you on top, in the middle or in the bottom? Understanding where you are is as simple as looking at the people who surround you. Relationships, like individuals, grow. Why not take some inspiration from your earlier days and be open to change. Expect it. Look for it. And when the time comes (which it will) for a shift, ask yourself what tools, resources and support you need to be as straightforward, productive and painless as possible. Be present in your relationships, honesty and attentiveness will help us individually, and collectively.